Clash in the Big Underground
by MeingroessterFan
Summary: Long before the arrival of the seventh human child that would free the Underground, and not that long after the skeletal brothers set up camp in Snowdin to go on watch for humans, a mysterious warrior from a very, VERY distant land appears at the entrance to the Ruins.
1. The Mysterious Man of Mystery

**#1**

 **The Mysterious Man of Mystery Marches in**

 **The Underground, 20XX**

 **Snowdin Forest, just beyond the Gateway to the Ruins**

Despite the considerable size of the multiverse and the nearly endless number of worlds, there are always sights that will surprise even the most seasoned adventurer. For example, finding a snowed in forest deep underneath a mountain isn't exactly common place. It's discoveries like these that keep the avid explorers high on life.

A strong breeze brushed over the tree tops. The dried up branches cracked and fell to the ground, the snow blew up into the air and performed an impromptu dance routine, and the distant cave walls echoed back the sounds of the forest. Now, that may seem not too unusual... until you realize that there's never any wind this deep underground. So, that begs the question... where did the breeze come from?

Perhaps the mysterious shimmer of black light from beneath the line of trees holds the answer. Though it also begs another question: How can light be black? And yet another great question: Where did this hooded creature come from that just stepped onto the road? And what is it mumbling to itself in that deep, gravely voice?

"Hmm... it appears I have misjudged the shifts of the dimensions again.. Unless something dramatic has happened since I've last been here, I'm very sure that Lindblum was not located several miles underground. Hmpf, no matter... there are bound to be weapons worth claiming in a place like this..."

The figure was a strange sight indeed. Most of its upper body and head was covered in a loose cape made of red fabric, only leaving a small slit on its face to see through. The eyes were completely white and metallic, lacking any pupils or irisis, and its face was as white as the snow on the ground, save for some stripes of red war paint. A pair of small horns and a puff of gray hair bound in a tall ponytail poked out ontop of its head, and a set of armor protected its chest and arms. A pair of massive white hands clutched a long bladed spear. The surreal ensemble was topped off by a pair of gray pants covered in polka dots. Whatever this absurd... person was, it seemed to be male, and it definitely wasn't human. But then again, that was surprisingly common in this world.

As the mysterious man began his journey down the long and empty road out of the forest, something started moving in the shadows. Silently and never quite visible, it followed after him.

"Hmm... these presences, they're unlike anything I've seen before... much stronger than usual, yet also fleeting, as if they could turn to dust at any turn... there's an entire world over this mountain, I'm sure of it, but it seems like everyone worth worrying about is down here. Wouldn't you agree, Enkidu...?"

A little spark of green light blinked up for a second in the mans hand as he held up a strange green object.

"Hehe, don't get impatient now. You will get your excercise soon enough, I can just feel it...huh?"

The mans head darted around and a pair of glowing dots pierced through the darkness past the trees.

"Could've sworn I heard something..."

Just beyond the shadows, a small figure was pressed up against the back of a large tree, not moving a single limb and not making the slightest sound. The empty eyes scanned up and down the road for a few seconds, and it almost seemed like they could pierce through the darkness and see right through the trees.

"Hmm... must've been a squirrel or something..."

After one last careful glance, the man slowly turned around and continued onwards. The figure in the shadow remained motionless for a minute, then it carefully peeked around the corner, and a small spark of blue appeared in the darkness. Slowly and silently, it picked up in pace again.

"Alright Enkidu, I think we almost reached the border of this forest. There is bound to be some people in this direction. And where there's people, there's fighters. And where there's fighters, there is challenges. And where there's challenges, there's weapons to be claimed. And I believe the challenges to be found here will be unlike anything we've ever faced before. How exciting! Oh, what is this now?"

The road was suddenly divided by a rather deep, though not very broad pit. A small, sturdy looking bridge covered the gap, and a small stack of wooden planks and a packet of nails were stacked up on the side of the road. Two wooden posts were buried in the ground on either side. It seemed like somebody had recently been working on them.

"Seems like somebody wants to block off the road to keep me out. Now that's some great motivation to get in, isn't it?"

Not far behind the man, something emerged from the side of the road. Slowly and considered, the shadowy figure crept up on him, and two mischievous blue eyes glared at his back.

"Don't think I haven't noticed you back there."

The figure stopped dead in its tracks. The man in red turned around and pointed the blade of his spear at the face of his follower.

"Don't you know it's dishonorable to sneak up on an opponent? Have you got no spine at all?"

"*heh, actually i do. don't have much else than that though, i'm afraid."

With another step forward, the figure finally emerged from the shadow and stepped into the dim light. It was a skeleton; a rather short skeleton clad in a blue hoodie, a pair of shorts and trainers. Two small lights flared in his empty eyesockets, and the eternal condescending grin of a skull was plastered on his big face.

"*so you did notice me back there, didn't you? guess i wasn't as sneaky as i thought i was. sorry for not having the back **-bone** to face you head-on. **"**

A distant drumbeat echoed through the forest.

"Ah, think nothing of it. I would have done the same. In my opinion, one should only be courageous if they are sure that they won't lose."

"*so, you're sure you won't lose then? because if i were a human, i would have bolted right about now."

A bright blue flame lit up in the skeletons eye, and suddenly, a barrage of bones shot up from underneath the snow and formed a menacing circle around the man in red.

"*sorry pal, i got strict orders to take any human that falls down here straight to the king. so, unless you drop your weapon and follow peacefully, i'm afraid this'll have to get messy."

"A fight then? Eheheh... muhahahahahaHAHA"

The caped man straightened his back and quickly jumped into a curious battlestance. Suddenly, he seemed to be a lot taller than before.

"I've pulverized many of your kind throughout my travels, bone man! Though to be fair, you're the first one to talk back to me... no matter! Prepare to face the wrath of the mighty GILGAMESH!"


	2. Clash on the Tiny Wooden Bridge

**#2**

 **Clash on the Tiny Wooden Bridge**

With a flash of blue light, a flurry of bones rushed straight towards the man in red from all sides; his bladed spear spun around, and the ground itself was pulled up by the speed and strength of the movement. Suddenly the entire area was practically invisible through the thick white dust that was flung through the air; the chaos continued for almost a minute as the horrible sound of breaking bones echoed through the forest.

As the dust was settling, Sans the skeleton lowered his arm and wiped the sweat of his forehead. In front of him there was a massive dent in the snow, and little splinters of bones adorned the nearby treetrunks. The man in red who called himself Gilgamesh was standing in the center of the newly created clearing, looking slightly slack-jawed.

"W- what the hell was that?! Did you seriously just try and attack me... with floating bones?! Huhu... hu huhaahhahaHAHAHAHA! THAT WAS HILARIOUS! I haven't seen something this creatively pointless since my old boss hid that fake sword in that box and banished me to the rift for being incompetent! Haha, good times... Now, come on, you've got to be able to do better than that, right?!"

"*huff... puff... uhhh... well, that was unexpected... i thought that attack was pretty potent..."

"Seriously, bone man? What kind of people have you been fighting against?! I've seen giant hamsters more threatening than you! Here, THIS is how you attack someone!"

With a dramatic yell, Gilgamesh jumped forward and swung his spear at his opponent; with almost surreal speed and flexibility, the small skeleton hopped around and dodged his devastating swipes.. at least for a small while. The top of the blade faintly brushed over his chest, and a thick red substance spilled out with great force. Sans fell backwards into the snow, clutching his chest with both hands. Gilgamesh stopped in his tracks and gave him a look of disbelief.

"What, you're already down, after just one hit? Come on, bone man, you can do better than that!"

"*urgh... afraid not, bucko... sorry, papyrus, guess it's all up to you now..."

With the most pain-filled grin a skeleton could muster, Sans glanced up at the towering figure in front of him.

"*eh, who am i kidding... he won't stand a chance against you either... they told us humans were determined, but urgh... i was not expecting... this.."

Meanwhile, Gilgamesh was frantically patting over the sides of his pants, seemingly looking for pockets that clearly weren't there.

"Ah, hold on, boney, I'll get you a potion or something. Or wait, you're an undead, aren't you? So they would probably hurt you... how DO you people heal yourselves around here anyway?"

"*huh? you wanna heal me? i thought we were fighting."

"Don't get smart now, I don't do this for everyone. Gah, I thought I had an elixir in here somewhere..."

"SANS?! WAS THAT YOU MAKING ALL THIS RUCKUS?! YOU BROKE MY CONCENTRATION, AND NOW I MESSED UP MY NEW PUZZLE! JUST WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU LAZY MENACE TO THE CREATIVE MIND!"

A thin, towering figure was quickly approaching from the other side of the bridge; almost as tall as Gilgamesh and just as red, but also just as skeletal as Sans. And even for a skeleton, his grin was impressively big and bright.

"SANS, WHAT WERE YOU DOING HERE? WHAT HAPPENED HERE... OH MY GOD, SANS, YOU'RE HURT! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!"

With a pained groan, Sans pushed himself on his feet and stumbled past his confused opponent clutching his chest.

"*eh, don't worry bro, it's just a scratch-"

"YOU'RE LEAKING KETCHUP EVERYWHERE, SANS! LET ME SEE THAT!"

"*seriously, papyrus, i'm totally.."

The new skeleton had grabbed Sans by the top of his jacket and was now inspecting the wounds of his unwilling brother.

"YOU LOST FOUR RIBS, SANS!"

"*it's fine, they grow back after all"

"NO THEY DON'T!"

"Uh, yes they do, actually..."

Papyrus seemed to only now notice the giant hooded figure that was standing in the center of destruction. He looked at Gilgamesh, then at his brother, then back at Gilgamesh.

"SANS, IS THAT... A HUMAN?!"

"*honestly, i'm not sure. i was fighting him a second ago, and he scratched me a bit."

"OH MY GOD, A HUMAN! I AM SO LUCKY! SANS, GO FIX YOURSELF UP, I GOT SOME SPAGHETTI LEFT AT YOUR GUARD POST! DON'T WORRY, I'LL CAPTURE THIS HUMAN FOR YOU!"

"*bro, be careful, he's really tough"

"AH, DON'T WORRY, SANS, NO HUMAN CAN MATCH MY FABLED BLUE ATTACK! I'LL HAVE HIM CAPTURED IN NO TIME! UNDYNE WILL BE SO PROUD OF MEEE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

"*alright then... please be careful though, papyrus. I'll be back in a second"

With that, Sans stumbled past his brother who was shaking in excitement, took a shakey step into the shadows and suddenly vanished, almost as if he had teleported away. Meanwhile, his brother took an upright stance, pushed out his ribcage and pressed his fists into his hip.

"HUMAN! PREPARE TO BE CAPTURED BY THE GREAT AND MIGHTY PAPYRUS!"


	3. Boneclashle

**#3**

 **Boneclashle**

At least visually, the battle seemed to have come to an equilibrium of sorts. Two tall, red-clad figures were facing each other on either end of the bridge, bopping up and down on their heels. If Papyrus's grin hadn't been eternally frozen on his face, surely at this moment, it would have been just as broad no matter his facial structure. What a joyous time to be on watch for humans! And after he just got stationed here, already his first human fell into the ruins! Now all he had to do was to capture him. He straightened his spine and let out his most majestic cackle to date.

"NYYEEEH HEEH HEEH HEEH HEH! HUMAN! I SEE YOU TREMBLING IN FRIGHT, AND RIGHTFULLY SO! AS AN ASPIRING FAMED ROYAL GUARDSMAN, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL CAPTURE YOU AND BRING YOU TO UNDYNE! NOBODY CAN MATCH MY AMAZING SKILLS, BOTH IN THE KITCHEN AND ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE! TRRRREMBLE IN FEEAAR!"

Meanwhile, Gilgamesh was scratching his back with the bladed end of his spear.

"AND ALSO, YOU HAVE MADE A GRAVE MISTAKE IN STRIKING DOWN MY BROTHER SANS! HE MAY BE THE BIGGEST LAZY BONES IN THE ENTIRE UNDERGROUND, BUT HE'S ALSO MY DEAREST BROTHER, AND THE SIGHT OF HIS BROKEN BODY FILLS ME WITH UNBRIDLED RAGE!"

A bright yellow flame burst out of his left eyesocket, and his entire body seemed to emit waves of pure energy. The snow around his feet started to melt away, and steam rose up around him. Gilgamesh finally gave up on his attempt on scratching himself through a thick layer of armor and jumped back into his battle stance.

"WOOOWIIEE! I HAD NO IDEA I COULD BECOME THIS AGITATED! NOW, HUMAN, PREPARE YOURSELF, BECAUSE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL KNOCK YOU ALL DOWN! WITH VERY ANGRY BONES!"

Gilgamesh's eyes lit up with anticipation, and he slightly bent his knees and grasped his spear with both hands.. Papyrus raised his right arm into the air, a small flame flickering in his palm...

...

"Uhm..."

"WHAT? IS THERE AN ISSUE?"

"Aren't you going to, yknow... attack me?"

"WHAT? WHY, OF COURSE NOT! YOU'RE THE HUMAN, YOU GET TO ATTACK ME FIRST! AND THEN I UNLEASH AN ENDLESS BARRAGE OF BONES ON YOU!"

"Ooooooooh, I see, it's one of these dimensions! Hah, sorry, all the wandering between realms, you get confused with the dynamics of combat from time to time. I could have sworn that you had at least 3-dimensional battles in this realm!"

Gilgamesh quickly flattened his form down to two dimensions and hoped nobody had noticed yet.

"OH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU FOUGHT MY BROTHER A MINUTE AGO! I APOLOGIZE DEEPLY FOR HIS BEHAVIOUR, HE HAS NO RESPECT FOR THE CODE OF BATTLE! IT'S ONLY POLITE TO WAIT FOR YOUR ASSAILANT TO HAVE THEIR STRIKE FIRST, BUT HE JUST COMPLETELY DISREGARDS ETTIQUETTE! I MEAN, WHEN AN ENEMY SWINGS AT YOU, IT IS ONLY COMMON DECENCY TO HOLD STILL AND TAKE IT, BUT WHAT DOES HE DO? HE HOPS ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE HE'S WOSHUA DURING SPRING CLEANING!"

"Oh, so I probably shouldn't have shattered all these bones he threw at me then?"

Papyrus's jaw dropped. He quickly bent down and picked it up again.

"W-WHAT?! YOU BROKE HIS BONES?! HOW DID YOU EVEN DO THAT?! EVERY LITTLE MONSTER KID KNOWS, YOU CAN'T USE YOUR ATTACKS DURING THE ENEMY'S TURN!"

"What, so I was just supposed to let all these bones hit me? That hardly seems like balanced combat, there were dozens of them!"

"WHY YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DODGE THEM OF COURSE!"

Gilgamesh was left slack-jawed. He stared at his opponent with a bedazzled expression for a few moments, then he let out an earth-shattering cry of frustration.

"Bu-.. wha... WHAT?! **THIS REALM HAS THE MOST CONTRIVED BATTLE MECHANICS I'VE EVER HEARD OF!** "

The trees gave out horrifying creaking sounds, and Papyrus's entire body rattled as Gilgamesh's scream echoed back from the distant cave walls. He panted heavily for a good twenty seconds, then he rammed his spear into the ground, pulled a giant purple handkerchief out of an invisible pocket and quickly removed the red cloth covering his face to wipe away the sweat. His entire face was gray and adorned with red markings; it looked like it was painted on, but even after he wiped over it, it stayed perfectly in place.

"Okay, okay..."

He put away the towel-sized handkerchief, pulled up his face coverings and grabbed his spear again.

"Let's just start from the beginning. How about we just do a little pretend-battle and you teach me the rules?"

It took a moment for Papyrus to snap back into reality. He seemed quite dumbfounded by the entire situation, but he just shook his head for a second (with audible squeaking) and straightened his pose again.

"NY... NYEH HEH HEH! WHY, OF COURSE, HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM A GRRREAT TEACHER! I THINK! I NEVER REALLY TRIED, BUT I HAVE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU NEED TO BECOME GREAT AT ANYTHING: UNLIMITED SELF-CONFIDENCE!" SO, UH... RIGHT NOW IT'S YOUR TURN! SO YOU CAN PERFORM AN ACTION! YOU CAN ATTACK ME, OR YOU CAN 'ACT', YOU CAN USE AN ITEM, OR YOU CAN SHOW MERCY! BUT ALL OF THAT IS TOO ADVANCED FOR NOW. SO, UH... PRETEND TO ATTACK ME!"

Gilgamesh jslowly stepped forward and lightly prodded him with the blunt end of his spear.

"REALLY GOOD! YOU'RE PICKING IT UP FAST! NOW, AFTER YOU PERFORM AN ACTION, IT IS MY, THE GREAT PAPYRUS'S TURN! I WILL UNLEASH AN ATTACK ON YOU, AND YOU TRY TO DODGE AS MUCH OF IT AS YOU CAN! SO I WILL FLING THIS BONE AT YOU, AND YOU TRY TO DODGE IT, OKAY?"

Papyrus let a lone bone shoot in his adversary's direction. Gilgamesh hopped out of the way.

"GREAT! THAT ABOUT COVERS IT! DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS? I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM GREAT AT ANSWERING QUESTIONS!"

Gilgamesh threw his spear up in the air, quickly cracked his knuckles and caught it again.

"Hmm, I think I get it now. One question though: you said I can choose to show mercy. I have never heard of such an option before. How does that work?"

"UH, WELL! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HURT YOUR OPPONENT AND INSTEAD WANT TO BECOME GOOD FRIENDS WITH THEM, YOU CAN CHOOSE TO 'ACT' AND MAKE THEM LIKE YOU! AND IF YOU MADE THEM LIKE YOU ENOUGH, YOU CAN CHOOSE TO 'SPARE' THEM! THEN NOBODY HAS TO FIGHT AND EVERYONE CAN BE FRIENDS!"

"WHAT? BUT... But fighting people is the only way I know how to make friends!"

"WELL, DON'T YOU WORRY! YOU HURT MY BROTHER, SO I'M REALLY MAD AT YOU! I WOULDN'T LET YOU SPARE ME ANYWAY! NOW LET'S FIGHT PROPERLY! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

In his long years wandering the rift, Gilgamesh had encountered a lot of strange characters. Giant twisted monstrosities made up of a thousand bodies; small, green demons carrying lanterns and knives; massive tentacle monsters sleeping in abandoned cities at the bottom of the ocean, lumps of rock fighting for their freedom and a tyrant who wore his own face as a mask.. but at this moment, he was absolutely certain that this smiling skeletal warrior standing right in front of him had to be the weirdest of them all.

"Well, if that is how it is... then prepare yourself to feel the wrath of the mighty GILGAMESH!"

With a fearsome battlecry (a really awkward yell), he lunged forward and rammed his spear right into Papyrus's stomach. The attack wasn't very effective since there was no stomach to be stabbed, but the gesture was clear.

"NYEH HEH HEH! I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR A BEATING! BECAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO FACE MY FABLED BLUE ATTACK!"

All around Gilgamesh, a dozen shimmering blue bones rose from the ground. They circled the dimensional warrior and suddenly shot straight towards him. With a deafening yell, Gilgamesh jumped about ten meters into the air, only barely avoiding the ice cold projectiles. He landed face first in the ground, and took a second to get his head out of the snow and back onto his feet. With a triumphant "NYEH!", Papyrus thrust his open palm towards him. A blue ball of magic shot straight towards Gilgamesh and hit him straight in the chest. With a pathetic "puff", it dissipated into thin air.

...

"UHM..."

Papyrus flung another ball, more vigorously that time; and again, nothing happened. Gilgamesh looked at his chest, then back at Papyrus. His massive grin was covered by his face cloth, but even the small stripe of visible face was enough to convey his Schadenfreude.

"OKAY, THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. YOU SHOULD BE COMPLETELY BLUE BY NOW! THAT'S MY ATTACK!"

"Oh, I see, you want to apply a status ailment to me! Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, but this is Genji Armor! It makes me immune to almost all status effects! But if you want to play dirty, I can comply!"

With a few mysterious hand gestures, Gilgamesh pushed out his chest, put one hand over his heart and raised one in the air, and suddenly burst into a strange song. The melody was strange and very unpleasant, but charged with pure magic. The air was filled with waves of energy and magical sparks in the shape of musical notes, and Papyrus's form began to shimmer and ripple, much like a reflection on water. After a few seconds of horrendous music, the magic dissipated, and where Papyrus used to stand, there now sat a small, skeletal toad with a tiny red scarf around its lack of a neck. Gilgamesh burst out into furious laughter at the sight.

"MUHAHAHAHAHA! THIS WAS THE BEST IDEA I EVER HAD!"

The tiny toad skeleton shook an angry little toad arm at his adversary in rage.

"HUUUUMAAAAN! YOU'RE A DIRTY CHEATER AND YOU KNOW IT! TURN ME BACK THIS INSTANT!"

It took almost another minute until Gilgamesh's laughter finally ebbed down. All the while, the bonified toad was hopping up and down angrily, yelling at his adversary in a very high-pitched, yet unfalteringly majestic voice. Finally, the now very tall seeming warrior wiped away his tears of laughter and produced a small bottle of green liquid.

"Ahh, I don't know if I should turn you back, actually. I think I like you better this way."

"DON'T YOU DARE RIDICULE THE GREAT PAPYRUS! TURN ME BACK NOW!"

Gilgamesh mockingly tilted his head.

"Say 'pleeeeease'!"

Even thought it was made entirely of bones, Gilgamesh could've sworn that he saw the little toad's skull turn red.

"GRRRR... PLEASE TURN ME BACK. NOW."

"Aaaw, alright then."

With an exaggerated sigh of disappointment, he pulled the kork from the bottle of remedy and emptied the contents onto the bone toad. A flash of light later, and a very disgruntled skeletal warrior brushed off his snow-covered ribcage.

"NYEH! YOU WILL REGRET THIS, HUMAN! NOBODY HUMILIATES THE GREAT PAPYRUS!"

Still chuckling, Gilgamesh got back into his battle stance.

"Well then, it is your turn! Hit me with everything you got!"

"OH! UH..."

Papyrus awkwardly looked around the forest, as if looking for some clue of what to do next.

"WELL, UH.. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TURN BLUE, AND THEN I WOULD HAVE MADE YOU JUMP OVER BONES... BUT UH, YOU'RE NOT BLUE, SO UH..."

"'*hey bro, i'm back!"

Papyrus spun around. The small figure of his brother Sans came jogging along the shadowy road.

"SO I WILL GET MY BROTHER TO HELP ME! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

His jacket was torn, but other than that, Sans seemed to be completely fine. His ribs were back in place, and his grin seemed to be even wider than before. Though that may have been due to the massive beastly skull hovering over his shoulder.

"*hehe, don't worry bro, i brought some supportive fire. we'll 'blast' him away in no time."

Papyrus somehow managed to roll his eyesockets.

"IT SEEMS YOU'RE BACK IN GOOD HEALTH, SANS."

"*f'course i am. now what're you waiting for? don't we have a 'bone' to pick with him?"

A groan of pure despair escaped Papyrus's, uh, mouthhole.

"YES, INDEED WE DO. HUMAN! I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR THE COMBINED MIGHT OF ME, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AND MY BROTHER SANS! IT'S GONNA BE A 'BLAST'! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

Gilgamesh gave the hovering skull a slightly nervous look. He had the distinct feeling that it would make the battle a lot more dangerous. He glanced over the two brothers, patiently waiting for him to perform his turn. Suddenly, he had an idea.

"Oh, so it's two on one now? That hardly seems like fair odds, now does it? How about I even the score! I choose to use an item!"

With a small green flash, he summoned up the green magicite of Enkidu. He threw it up into the air, and a small dimensional portal formed around it. Out came his trusty friend and companion: a small, green-furred dog with a set of giant teeth and a small pair of feathery wings. He leapt down from his aerial position and buried his paws in the snow. His gaze fell on the two skeletons. And the fear that flashed up in their empty eyesockets proved that both them and Enkidu had the exact same thought.

"Muhahaha! Fly, Enkidu! With victory come juicy bones for the gnawing!"

For a few seconds, everything became a bit of a blur. A gust of snow burst up in the air as Enkidu leapt towards his tasty snack, and in one flowing movement, Papyrus grabbed his brother under the arms, put him on his shoulders and started sprinting away at an unbelievable speed. Before too long, their shapes disappeared at a horizon, and the panicked yell of the skeletons became inaudible. The massive skull awkwardly hovered in place for a while, then it seemed to tire of its situation and floated up and away into the sky. Gilgamesh stretched his arms and gave another satisfied grin.

"Seems like the dog-elemental is 'super effective' against the bone-elemental."

He scratched his head.

"Eh, that line needs some work."

With that, he continued his hike through the forest. Seemed like the best way to go was along that broad trail the skeleton brothers and Enkidu left in the snow. And who knew, he might find some weapons worth claiming after all.


	4. A Happy Snowman

**#4**

 **A happy snowman**

It wasn't far beyond the scene of glorious victory that the forest cleared and gave view to a beautiful landscape. In all his years of traveling, Gilgamesh had never come across a cave system this massive. From atop a cliff, he could see big stretches of land covered in piney trees and frozen over lakes. He briefly wondered where exactly the snow came from, and how plants that rely on photosynthesis to function could grow in a big cave underground without any natural sunlight, let alone in such big quantities, but his mind soon was once again focused on his primary task: finding legendary weapons for his collection.

Though admittedly he hadn't seen very much of the world he stumbled into yet, his encounter with the two insane skeletons clearly demonstrated to him that this world was a very odd specimen. The entire dynamic of this dimension was unlike any other he had ever encountered before. Hopefully, that meant that the weapons to be claimed also would be very out of the ordinary, which would be a refreshing change of pace. As much as he loved the legendary blades of ancients, they did tend to be very much the same throughout the many worlds. The amount of Excaliburs and Masamunes he had acquired must've been in the dozens at this point.

The relaxing sound of a small river splattering in the distance coupled with the astounding view down the cliffside gave Gilgamesh that real adventuring chill. The tingling in his legs, urging him to wander, see the amazing sights this world had to offer. The air was fresh, there was a light breeze sending a cool, envigorating tingle down his spine, and even though he couldn't see the sun down here, he was sure that it was high in the sky, with a few tiny clouds floating behind the mountain tops above.

"Ahhh, high high cave walls and the rolling snow... It's days like these that get you high on life. And noone there to harshen my buzz, now that these pesky skeletons have hightailed out of here. It truly is moments like these that my adventurer's heart beats for!"

It seemed that after endless years in the emptiness of the interdimensional rift, one would develop the habit of soliloquizing.

 **Meanwhile...**

 **Elsewhere**

The massive red figure was only a small shadow in the distance on the flickering monitor. The two figures watching it exchanged worried looks as the mysterious intruder got smaller and smaller and eventually fully disappeared from view. The smaller of the two onlookers hastily hammered on some buttons on a console, and the screen turned black for a few seconds; then another video feed popped up, showing a plain field of snow with the edge of a forest visible in the distance. A small, red-tinted shape was coming into view.

"S-so he made it past your sentry stations then..."

The taller of the two figures, a fish lady with flaming red hear and blue-tinted skales, covered her face in her hands.

"Papyrus and Sans... why did I station them so close to the ruins... what was I thinking..."

The smaller one, a little lizard creature wearing a dirty labcoat, gave her friend a worried glance.

"I-I think they may be okay... I saw that Sans was following the this.. guy, but shortly after a gust of snow covered up my camera.. I couldn't get another good look at him until he showed up again on that last one, s-so maybe they're still okay..."

With a pained scream and shaking limbs, the fish lady stomped on the floor, leaving little cracks underneath her feet.

"NGAHHH! ALPHYS! WHERE HAVE YOU PUT MY PUNCHING PILLOW?! BECAUSE IF I DON'T GET TO PUNCH SOMETHING RIGHT NOW, I MIGHT ACCIDENTALLY SMASH YOUR NERDY COMPUTER THING!"

The little yellow lizard named Alphys cowered in fear, glancing around the room in panic.

"I-it's not here, Undyne... please, just punch the wall, though, this is really sensiti- AAAGH!"

The entire room shook under the punches the room's wall had to endure; dust and little pieces of stone rained down from the ceiling, and the light began to flicker. Alphys made a dash for the trashcan.

"WHY! WAS! I! SO! DAMNED! RECKLESS! I! KNEW! THE! HUMANS! CAME! FROM! THERE! IT'S! ALL! MY! DAMN! FAULT! NGAAAAAAHH!"

After a good minute or two, Undyne finally seemed to have momentarily exhausted herself. Her body was trembling, and she let herself slide down the wall, panting and hiding her face in her palms. The lid of the trash can slightly raised up, and two eyes glanced from inside across the room towards the exhausted and shivering warrior.

"Urrgh... ngh... it's... okay, Alphys... you can... ugh... come out now..."

Undyne's voice was trembling. With a few technical difficulties, Alphys managed to climb out of her new home. She gently grabbed Undyne by the arm and helped her up.

"Come on, Undyne, just sit down for a moment... everything will be fine.."

After carefully placing Undyne on a small stool and giving her an awkward pat on the back, Alphys scurried back to her consoles. With a few button presses, she zoomed in on the mysterious stranger. The perspective was much better this time, allowing her to more carefully study the human's appearance. What she saw made her nervous. The stranger looked like something straight out of one of her anime collection; in fact, she could have sworn that she had seen nearly identical looking characters in some of those human video games she loved so much. Maybe he was a cosplayer? She had heard rumours of that human tradition of dressing up as a character from their favorite stories; though it seemed unlikely that this person would be wearing their costume while wandering a mountain range..

Undyne had gotten herself back on her feet and was now standing next to her again. Alphys could tell that she had been crying; her entire face was bloodshot red, and her one visible eye was even more swollen than it always was. Seeing her in a state like that almost made Alphys start whimpering, but she tried her best to compose herself.

"I-it seems he's heading towards Snowdin town... do you have any guards stationed on that route, Undyne?"

The cracking of Undyne's knuckles probably was still audible outside of the lab.

"The dog squad... there's an entire family of dogs guarding that area. They're good fighters, though they're very affection-hungry... always begging me for pets when I'm checking up on them.."

Alphys silently gulped; another member of that family was waiting for their lunch a few floors down...

"If they realize what's going on, I'm sure they'll be able to at least slow that guy down, but I really don't like the idea of those guys being left alone with him too long. I have to go out there and take care of this myself!"

As she was saying it, she was already halfway to the door.

"Keep an eye on your cameras, Alphys! I have no idea what will happen out there, but... you know waht you need to do if things don't go well."

Undyne gave Alphys a stern, expressionless look. The little lizard lady suddenly found herself incapable of speech. Only a meek whimper and a hasty nod confirmed to Undyne that she had been heard.

"Hey, Alphys... I'll be okay. You don't need to worry about me. The entire underground is rooting for me tonight! Some caped punk like this is no match for me!"

With a lot of difficulty, Alphys managed to force a smile onto her face. It didn't look the least bit convincing, but the good intent was there.

"I... I k-know, Undyne. Good luck out there."

The mechanical doors closed behind Undyne as she fell into a speedy jog. First she would stop by her house and grab her battle armor, then she would head straight for Snowdin. This human would not hurt anybody else! She would take his soul, bring it to her boss, and then monsterkind would finally escape their subterranean prison..

Alphys couldn't hold back a few sobs as she watched her friend leave to speed towards what was assumably certain death. She had read the files on humans... though it wasn't impossible for a monster to defeat a human, the solid physical form of a human and the strength of their souls gave them a severe advantage in any battle. And even though Alphys knew that Undyne was one of the toughest monsters in the entire underground, something about that human just made her think that he knew how to fight.. if that full set of armor he was wearing wasn't actually just painted cardboard, then Undyne was in for a lot of trouble...

She took a deep breath. There was no point in worrying so much. Undyne had trained almost her entire life for this encounter; Alphys had watched her suplex entire rock formations just for fun, heck, she even managed to knock down Asgore! If anyone would be able to stop that human, it would be her. Plus, she didn't even know for sure if Papyrus and Sans had even been hurt. She grabbed deep into her labcoats pocket and pulled out her cellphone. With a bit of luck, she still might have Sans's contact data...

Aha! Seemed like her luck hadn't run out entirely just yet...

*Click *

*Ring Ring... *

 **Meanwhile**

 **Snowdin Forest Outskirts**

"... and the entire planet was covered in big, blue plants not dissimilar to mushrooms, though many times bigger than any mushroom I had ever come across. It was a pretty sight to behold, albeit quite monotonous after a while. In the end, there wasn't much to be had there, and I soon had to abandon the place since a very angry and very powerful wizard began burning the entire land to the ground!"

The stubby snowman was listening in awe to the tall tales the mysterious man in red was telling him. They had been there for a good half an hour now, with Gilgamesh spouting grand tales of his exploits in far away lands and the snowman hanging on his lips. He had never moved an inch from his current position, and had been under the false impression that his direct surroundings were all that there was to the world. Hearing these vivid descriptions of far away exotic lands filled him with more awe and wonder than anyone could expect a creature without an actual brain to feel.

Tragically, their wonderous conversation was interrupted by a small group of monsters that seemed to be on the lookout for something to rebel against. Two small snow dragons of sorts, an impish little ball with a very, very distracting hat lodged upon its head, and another strange creature that gave one the immediate impression that it would be more enjoyable to share a hotel room with a hungry behemoth than with them.

"Hey you! You're an adult, aren't you? That means you're old, have know idea about how the world works and you better show some respect to us!"

"Are you having an 'ice' day?"

"Wow, you guys really suck at this!"

"HEY! My hat's up here!"

"Stay 'frosty'!"

"Guuuys! I have to go to the bathroom!"

Gilgamesh scratched his head. These strange creatures seemed to be... what were they called again... "teenagers", that was it! Apparently, in a lot of the worlds he travelled to, when children reached a certain age, they transformed into horrendous monstrosities that were dead-set on making life as unbearable as possible for the world around them. A true abomination of nature, no question about it. He crossed his arms and gave his best to look as condescending as he possible could.

"Look kids, me and this friendly gentleman here are having a private conversation, so if you could be so kind as to leave us alone, that would be lovely."

"WE ARE NO KIDS! We are adults, and you better treat us like adults too!"

"What's with the 'ice cold' demeanour?"

"Man, your jokes totally suck."

"SHUT UPm JERRY!"

"Heeeheeey, Cappy! I brought you and your little friends sandwiches and driihiinks!"

The little impish creature turned an intense shade of red.

"MOM! STOP EMBARASSING ME IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS!"

He glared around angrily at his entourage.

"I don't want any funny remarks, or I'm not letting any of you wear my hat ever again!"

The two snowdrakes awkwardly began shuffling towards the waving figure in the distance. Ice Cap gave Gilgamesh a very angry glance before finally turning around and darting after his friends. Now it was only Jerry, Gilgamesh and the snowman.

"So... can YOU give me a ri... mmmph!"

With a lazy flick of his wrist, Gilgamesh had shot a silencing spell towards the repulsive creature. Jerry grabbed his mouth with both hands and desperately tried to get a tone out, but after being repeatedly unsuccessful, he darted off into the forest. Gilgamesh sadly shook his head.

"Do you have to deal with these... individuals at a regular basis?"

The Snowman seemed to become a little more soggy.

"Oh, it's even worse than that... they were the ones who built me."

Gilgamesh looked at him with an expression of utmost sincere pity. He knew just too well what a painful feeling it can be when the ones in control of ones existance turned out to be of pure evil. The snowman let out a sad sigh.

"Well, they tend to leave me alone at least. But I can always hear that Snowdrake's horrendous puns echoing through the woods; it is downright racist if you ask me. But oh well, my life isn't so bad; the skeletons are nice, they convinced the dogs to never use me as a toilet, and sometimes the tall guy decorates me a bit or brings me a fresh carrot. I could have it worse."

The snowman gave Gilgamesh a confident smile. Well, really, he always did, he wasn't exactly physically capable of changing his facial impression.

"I guess you better get going again; those teens won't be gone for long. Especially that Jerry guy, he just doesn't pick up on social clues very well. Thank you for telling me those amazing stories; now I have something to think about when I'm bored."

Gilgamesh saluted.

"You're very welcome, my friend! May we meet again some day!"

The snowman watched his new friend dart into the distance; when he found it impossible to avoid the group of teens that were camping down the road, he simply lept high into the air and flew away. The snowman's little black stone eyes followed the trail of his cape as he dissappeared behind the treetops; moments later, the sound of wood splintering and outlandish cursing could be heard. A little giggle escaped the snowman's mouth as he sank into a vivid daydream of astounding countrysides, glowing suns in red skies, cities in the sky and deep below the ocean and trees whose roots reached across dimensions. And all along, he was hoping that some day, he might get to see more of the world...

Author's note: I had something entirely different planned for this chapter, but then I just got massively derailed while writing it *_* So I'll just write the more exciting stuff I planned for next time. I'm also trying to not have such big delays between chapters forever, the next one will be out in one or two days max, promise!


	5. Pasta La Vista

**#5**

 **Pasta la vista**

"Look, sir, I'm really sorry, but I can not accept payment in a foreign currency."

"What do you mean, "currency"?! These are pure golden coins!"

"Look, sir, I can not sell you any nice cream for those... 'gil' coins. I'm sorry, but that's my last word."

Gilgamesh gave the nice cream salesman a very annoyed look. The salesman desperately tried to hide his face behind his ears.

"Well, how am I supposed to get any of the local currency to pay for your items with if the only people willing to fight me are hiding on a tree?!"

He pointed fiercely towards the absurd scene transpiring right next to the sales stand. Enkidu was lying in the snow, contently chewing on a long, juicy leg bone that still had a winter boot on while a small group of varying canine figures were circling him with pleeding eyes. Meanwhile, Papyrus was shaking his boney fist at him from atop a small pine tree while awkwardly trying to assemble a new leg out of some spare bones with only one hand. Sans had managed to make himself comfortable ontop of a thicker branch, leaning against the tree stem while holding a cellphone to his lack of an ear.

"YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, YOU PESKY DOG, YOU HEAR ME?! NO DOG GETS AWAY WITH STEALING MY LEGS!"

"*no, so far the only casualty we had was papyrus's leg... no no, a dog ate it. well, is still eating it. but you can probably hear my brother reasoning with it, can't you"

"SANS! WILL YOU PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY AND HELP ME, YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING SLOTH!"

"*calm down, bro. i'm not using my cellphone right now"

"THEN WHAT'S THAT THING IN YOUR HAND?!"

"*oh, this? that's just my cell **bone** "

"SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNSSS!"

On second glance, the device actually was a short, thick bone with a dial pad and a small screen on it. Sans put it back towards his ear as Papyrus was very loudly cursing to himself.

"*hey, i gotta go. just tell undyne to hold her sea horses, alright? i'm not so sure that that guy is actually a human.."

He look over towards Gilgamesh who was now making his way towards them, still grumbling to himself.

"*... what? you mean she is... oh, blast it. okay, okay, i'll see what i can do. yeah, okay, i will. alright, later."

The assembled dogs were cautiously eyeing Gilgamesh as he stepped towards Enkidu. With a satisfied burp, the small green creature spat out the boot and clumsily got back on his legs.

"Hehe, you feasted well, I see, my fateful companion!"

The dog gave a very confirming sounding yawn. With a sloppy flap of his wings and a few concerning cracking sounds he stretched his back, shook his head and then began dissolving. Gilgamesh pulled the large shimmering gem out of one of his invisible pockets.

"A mighty feast like this must be followed by a good, undisturbed rest, yes. Rest well, my dear Enkidu, so you may be ready to come to my aid when I need you most!"

With a meek howl, the dog disappeared into thin air. Though most of his face was covered up, for a split second there was an incredible sadness in Gilgamesh's eyes as he looked at the shimmering lump of crystal in his palm. Then he abruptly straightened up and gave the canine gathering an angry glance.

"What're you looking at?! I don't have any bones for you, scram!"

There was a murmuring of disapproval, but it quickly died down under the angry stare of the hooded man. The dog people began clearing the premises, with hanging heads and their tails between their legs. The smallest one buried himself in the snow, and a second later a massive suit of armor arose out of the white layers and marched away with loud clanking footsteps echoing into the valley below.

"AHEM"

With a lot of effort, Gilgamesh managed to tear his eyes off the strange metal contraption and looked up into the tree where his two adversaries were hiding. Papyrus's face was poking down at him; a very clumsily assembled leg without a foot was dangling down the side of the tree.

"SO, IF YOUR LITTLE DOG FRIEND IS TAKING HIS NAP... MIND IF ME AND MY BROTHER COME DOWN THERE AND DON'T FIGHT YOU FOR A LITTLE WHILE?"

The concept of somebody asking not to fight him wasn't entirely foreign to Gilgamesh, but it most definitely wasn't a common occurance. For the most part, his journeys through the rift led him to dimensions where fighting was a very common practise; and almost always, he would come across the most important warriors of those dimensions and proceed to cross blades with them. It wasn't an entirely conscious effort of his anymore; the many years of rifthopping had given him an almost impeccable instinct. He would be able to just feel the presence of a great warrior or group thereof, and then move towards them. And it had been no different when entering this dimension; it was a dimension of battle, no doubt about it, and that particular energy of combat was at its strongest in this very cave; which would imply that in this world, those two skeletons sitting in a tree were some of the greatest fighters they had to offer.

Gilgamesh brushed away the train of thought for the time being and cast his mind back to the situation at hand. A skeleton with the equivalent of a skeletal pegleg was asking him not to grind him to dust if he were to leave his hiding place. Usually it was Gilgamesh begging the other party not to murder him, so perhaps it would be for the best to just enjoy that very pleasant switch of roles while it lasted. He demonstratively let his spear and magicite vanish into his extradimensional pockets and presented his empty palms.

"Alright, mortal! I am unarmed, and I swear by my honour that I will not harm you. Unless you try to harm me first, naturally, so no funny business!"

"O-OKAY THEN! WE ARE COMING DOWN NOW!"

Papyrus's landing was not particularly elegant; for starters, his head hit the ground first, and half of his limbs spontaneously detached from him. After a few seconds of distressed noises and shuffling through the thick snow, he managed to get himself somewhat upright. His legs were two different lengths and one was missing a foot, but he somehow managed to get his boot stuck on its stump. Sans's descent was less complicated, and he even managed to keep his hands in his pockets all the way down without losing his balance on the ground. The skeletons and Gilgamesh exchanged a few awkward looks.

"EHM, WELL..."

"*so your name was gilgamesh, you said?"

"That is correct, mortal! You stand before the universe's most fabled swordsman!"

"*the universe, huh? so where exactly did ya come from then? because i saw you in the forest, but you didn't come through the gate to the ruins like all the other humans did"

"SANS! DON'T BOMBARD OUR DEAREST GUEST WITH QUESTIONS! THAT IS JUST UTTERLY INAPPROPRIATE!"

"*wouldn't exactly call him our guest, paps. or did you send him an invite?"

Papyrus closed his eyesockets (don't ask) and shook his head in annoyance. The squeaking sound was eardrum-piercing.

"SANS, YOU JUST HAVE NO SENSE OF COMMON DECENCY, DO YOU?"

"*nope, that's what i got you for, bro"

"AND I SAY THAT WE SHOULD INVITE OUR NEW FRIEND OVER TO OUR HOUSE AND SERVE HIM A LOVELY PLATE OF PASTA A LA PAPYRUS! AND THEN, ONCE HE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO FEAST ON MY AMAZING COOKING AND IS SETTLED IN AND COMFORTABLE, THEN YOU CAN ASK HIM ABOUT WHERE HE CAME FROM."

"*bit of a surprising attitude, coming from you... weren't you obsessed about capturing a human just twenty minutes ago?"

"OH, I STILL AM, SANS! BUT DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME THAT YOU DON'T THINK HE HIS A HUMAN?"

"*i said that i wasn't sure what he is, bro, he still could be one"

"WELL, EVEN IF HE IS, HE CAN TELL US THAT HIMSELF WHEN HE'S SITTING ON OUR COUCH WITH A PLATE OF SPAGHETTI IN FRONT OF HIM! AND THEN, HE'LL ALREADY BE SO ENTHRALLED BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS'S COOKING SKILLS THAT HE WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO RESIST CAPTURE! WHAT DO YOU SAY, POTENTIAL HUMAN?"

Gilgamesh was standing around rather awkwardly, his eyes jumping back and forth between the two skeletons as they took turns talking. He shrugged.

"I mean... sure, why not. I would like some answers about this place myself. And I'm curious to try these... 'spaghetti' you speak of."

A bunch of glistering sweat drops appeared on Sans's bare forehead.

"BRILLIANT! FOLLOW ME, POTENTIAL HUMAN! I WILL GUIDE YOU TO MY HOUSE!"

Papyrus stumbled off with big, uneven enthusiastic steps. Sans gave Gilgamesh a very pitiful look, and then the two of them marched after the master chef.

 **An undisclosed amount of time later**

 **Papyrus's and Sans's house**

"Mmph! Thish ish great!"

Sans couldn't believe his eyesockets: Not only had Gilgamesh managed to down an entire plate of pasta a la papyrus without turning to dust, but he had even asked for a refill and was still munching away without any signs of deadly illness. Papyrus looked like he had never been happier.

"OH, IT'S JUST SO GREAT TO FIND ANOTHER PASTA LOVER LIKE MYSELF! I'LL GET YOU ANOTHER PLATE RIGHT AWAY!"

He didn't so much walk to the kitchen as he skipped. Sans made sure that his brother was out of seeing range, then he grabbed Gilgamesh by the head and stared deep into his empty eyes.

"how are you alive?"

Gilgamesh sucked up a long noodle hanging out of his mouth and gave Sans a mysterious grin.

"I may very well not be..."

He snorted and wiped his mouth.

"Honestly though, I survived various frog-based meals cooked up by a blind Qu, this is high cuisine in comparison!"

He poured the rest of the plate into his mouth just as Papyrus came running back, serving him yet another plate of his homemade specialty. Sans's empty eyesockets were filled with awe.

"Sho, anyway... didn't you guysh wanted to ashk me if I'm a human?"

Sans snapped back into reality.

"*oh yeah, right..."

He scratched his skull.

"*well... are you a human?"

Gilgamesh put the plate down and burped.

"Uff... well, that depends on what you mean by human. I probably was one at some point, but after so many years in the rift, you forget about silly details like that."

The skeletons were looking at him with empty stares.

"*uh, okay then... but did you come from the surface?"

"The one of this world? No, I've never laid eyes on it."

"*so, you may be a human, but you're not from... around here?"

"Nope, I'm a dimensional traveler. I journey throughout the multiverse, venturing into the strangest and most magnificent worlds, claiming the most powerful weapons for myself in combat! Which reminds me, you wouldn't possibly know of any legendary weapons I could find around here?"

Papyrus and Sans exchanged looks.

"WELL, UHM... THE KING HAS THAT MAGIC TRIDENT... BUT I DON'T THINK HE WOULD HAND IT OVER TO YOU..."

"*and undyne has those spears she throws around, but you already have that other spear, don't you"

"The thing I was using earlier? That's not a spear, that's a naginata!"

"*oh, so the narrator has been calling it the wrong thing all this time?"

"UHM, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, SANS?"

"Yes, he has. What a foolish mortal."

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?"

"*oops, i smell something burning, did you turn off the stove, bro?"

"WHAT! OH NO OH NO OH NO"

Papyrus darted back to the kitchen and knocked Sans over in passing. Sans fell onto the sofa next to Gilgamesh.

"*hmm, so if you're not a human from the surface, then we didn't actually need to capture you after all... sorry for attacking you, gil"

Gilgamesh shoved the entire plate of pasta (yes, including the plate itself) into his mouth; an uncomfortable crunching sound accompanied his chewing. After a few seconds, he swallowed heavily and let out a satisfied sigh.

"Ah, it's all in good sport, my friend! You got your ribs back, your brother managed to assemble himself a new leg, no harm was done."

"*hm, yeah.. well, there is one little problem though..."

At that moment, Papyrus came running back, sweat on his face.

"GOOD NEWS, SANS, THE STOVE WASN'T TURNED ON, SO NEITHER THE HOUSE NOR THE PASTA ARE BURNING!"

"*hehe, i got good news too, bro: old gil here isn't a human, so we don't have to get thrashed while triyng to capture him"

"OH... OKAY..."

Papyrus looked a little bit disappointed. Somehow he had still hoped that Gilgamesh was a human, so he could bring him to Undyne, so he could finally join the royal guard. But no matter, he wanted to be a good host, so he put on his brightest smile (which was the same as his normal smile, just more shiny) and took on his most heroic pose.

"WELL, NON-HUMAN, IN THAT CASE I APOLOGIZE WHOLEHEARTEDLY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE WE CAUSED YOU!"

"*oh wow, you have a whole heart, bro? can you show me?"

"SAAAAANS!"

"*hehe, i'm a riot"

"Muhahaha, that was a good one!"

"*thanks gil"

"ANYWAY! NON-HUMAN, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MORE SPAGHETTI?"

"Oh, I'd love that!"

"WONDERFUL! ONE MORE PLATE OF PAPYRUS'S PREMIUM PASTA, COMING RIGHT UP!"

 **Meanwhile**

 **No 100 meters down the road**

"So you did see him enter the village?"

The little yellow monster kid nodded excitedly. He couldn't believe that his hero Undyne was standing right there, asking him questions!

"Yeah, him and those two skeleton guys came in from over there just an hour ago!"

A heavy sigh of relief escaped Undyne; so the two of them were alive after all!

"And you're absolutely sure they didn't leave the village?"

"Yeah, nobody entered or left since then. Except you of course!"

Undyne nodded.

"Okay, thank you for your cooperation. Here's your agreed-upon reward."

She scribbled her autograph onto a piece of paper and handed it to the little kid. The little guy hopped up and down in screamed in glee.

"Thanks Undyne! You're the coolest!"

Undyne couldn't help but smile a little under her helmet.

"Now go home and hang it on your wall, or whatever it is you kids do."

The kid grabbed the sheet of paper with his mouth and then made a run down the road towards the houses. He fell on his face a couple of times, but didn't ever let go of his new most priced treasure.

Undyne looked after him for a bit, then she summoned up her spear and grabbed it firmly with both hands. Whoever that guy was, he hadn't managed to take down Sans and Papyrus. So there was still a chance for monsterkind... She would just wait here until that mysterious man came out of hiding. He would have to come into view eventually, and when he did, she was ready for it.


	6. Spear(s) of Justice

**#6**

 **Spear(s) of Justice**

"SO WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME IS... NO OTHER SKELETON IN ANY OTHER DIMENSION HAS EVER BEEN AS GOOD AT MAKING PASTA AS ME, THE GREAT PAPYRUS?!"

"... yes, that is exactly what I said."

"NYEH HEH HEH! DID YOU HEAR THAT SANS?! I AM THE BEST AT BEING A SKELETON CHEF!"

"*heh, gratz bro"

Gilgamesh wiped the sweat off his forehead. Answering a very awkward line of questions about the properties of skeletons across dimensions had been very difficult without openly telling Papyrus about the usually very unpleasant nature of his extradimensional kin. Sans probably wouldn't have minded too much, but Papyrus's unbridled enthusiasm was just too endearing to be disturbed by the unadorned truth.

"WOWIE! YOU'RE REALLY GREAT AT TELLING STORIES, GILGAMESH! CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT THE TRAPS THAT THE SKELETONS IN THE OTHER DIMENSIONS CAME UP WITH NEXT?"

Sans yawned and got off the couch.

"*i think that's enough stories for tonight, paps. it's almost morning again and i think our guest wants to be on his way soon"

"NYAAAWWW! BUT I WANTED SOME INSPIRATION FOR THE KINDS OF TRAPS THAT I COULD SET UP OUTSIDE SNOWDIN!"

Gilgamesh managed to push himself off the couch too; with a stomach full of noodles that he completely forgot to digest, moving suddenly became unbelievably challenging. He groaned and cracked all of his joints.

"Most of the traps I've seen were really lousy anyway, I don't think they have much to teach you. Well, except for that one place where that big guy with the many eyes was wandering about, that one was devious. But hey, between professionals, Papyrus, whatever you end up doing, set up your most impressive trap on a bridge! Bridges make for excellent scenery when you want to completely blow your enemies' minds!"

Papyrus's eyesockets lit up with excitement.

"NYEH... MAYBE... A GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR... CANNONS FIRING, SPIKES SWINGING, BLADES SLICING... AND AT LEAST ONE DOG... AND ALL OF IT SET ATOP A SEEMINGLY ENDLESS DROP INTO A BOTTOMLESS ABYSS! WOWIE! I LOVE THIS IDEA! THANK YOU, GILGAMESH! YOU'VE GIVEN ME SOME REALLY GREAT INSPIRATION!"

With that, Papyrus jumped off the sofa, across the room, ontop of the television, up to the roof and onto the second floor.

"I HAVE TO START WORKING ON THIS RIGHT AWAY! I HAVE TO DRAW UP SOME PLANS, SANS, COULD YOU PLEASE SHOW OUR GUEST THE DOOR I'M TOO BUSY OKAY HAVE FUN BYE"

His door slammed shut behind him, choking out the rest of his distracted babbling. Sans shrugged, opened the door and pointed at it demonstratively.

"*well, the door's right here. there, i showed you it. so if you want to be on your way, you can walk right through it. or you could take a nap on the couch if you don't feel like walking. which i can respect, i never feel like walking. so yeah, there's adventure out here, and the couch's in here; you can take your time deciding which one you like better, i know this must be tough for you. i'll just wait for you outside"

His hand buried deep in his jacket's pockets, Sans shuffled out the door. Mere splitseconds later, he shuffled back inside, sweat dripping from his forehead.

"*uh, actually, you might not want to take too long to decide... there's, uh, someone out there who'd, uh, like to talk to you..."

It was in that moment that a massive suit of armor crushed through the house's wall, accompanied by a fierce bone-chilling warcry.

" **NGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!** "

Undyne's feet crashed into the couch, right where Gilgamesh had sat mere seconds ago, and the splintering of the floorboards was painfully audible. Her flashing eye scanned the room and pinned down the cloaked figure with the eversoslightly bloated belly that gave her a very surprised look. A bright light lit up in her palm, and suddenly a very apparently magical spear appeared in her hand only to be lodged into the TV behind Gilgamesh half a second later.

"*undyne, please! can't you do this outside, where there isn't any furniture to break?!"

A bright grin spread across Gilgamesh's face. He let his naginata pop up in his hand and pulled his face cloth up. Finally, somebody with some proper fighting spirit! Granted, he had no idea why this animated suit of armor wanted him dead, and it was a bit disappointing that he couldn't steal its conjured weapon, but nevertheless, a good fight had been a very rare occurance in this world so far.

" **MUHAHAHAHA!** A new challenger approaches! Bring it on!"

All Sans could do was look on in despair as Gilgamesh sliced up the couch Undyne flung at him in midair, then proceeded to leap across the room and ram his head into her plate-covered belly. What little was left of the front wall gave in with a sad screech as it toppled over, and Undyne tumbled back outside onto the snowy road. Gilgamesh was right after her, furiously twirling around his naginata over his head... right before his hand slipped and he hit himself in the face with it. His elegant dash turned into more of a desperate hop as he tried to keep his footing. Undyne immediately seized her opportunity; a regular barrage of lightning spears was flung at her adversary, though quite a few went off target and proceeded to adorn the walls of the nearby houses. Nevertheless, at least three of them did hit, and Gilgamesh was sent flying backwards into the snow.

" **UGHAAAH!** "

His landing was accompanied by a loud metal clanking sound, and it took three backflips before he finally came to a halt. Slightly bedazzled and groaning, he rubbed his head and pulled the three spears out of his chestplate. When he looked up, he could see the shilouette of his enemy surging towards him, tip of the spear pointed straight at his face. With an annoyed grunt, he blindly swung his arm in the air, and a wimpy blade of magic wind hit Undyne in midair; if she had been on the ground, she probably would have barely flinched, but as she was currently a good eight to ten meters in the air, the hit was just about strong enough to send her tumbling, turning her elegant dive into a chaotic somersault that ended with her crashing facefirst into a cold, icy surface.

" **NGAAAAMMMMMPPHHH!** "

Meanwhile, Gilgamesh had managed to get back on his feet; angry and covered in snow, he spun around 360° looking for his enemy... For a few seconds, he couldn't see anything... but then a large block of ice drifted into his field of vision, with a big suit of armor stuck in the top.

Undyne's head was stuck deep in the huge frozen chunk that was quickly drifting down the river. She struggled hard to get her face out, but it seemed impossible; she just couldn't get a good grip on the slippery surface. Finally, she managed to lodge her soles into the top of the ice cube, and with a triumphant yell, she pulled her head out of its icy prison. She looked around, trying to spot the human..

For a moment, their eyes met. The empty stare of the dimensional traveler, and the fierce, angry glare of the noble yet reckless knight locked on each other; not even a snowflake dared to cross between them...

And then the ice cube drifted around a corner and the moment passed.

For a few more seconds, Gilgamesh kept staring at where the warrior just disappeared. Then he finally managed to tear his eyes away from the spot and look around him. Aside from a few dents in the snow and bits of Papyrus's wall everywhere, there was little trace of the raging battle. The magical spears that had been stuck in the other houses had now dissipated. Sans was standing in the still intact doorframe, looking at the massive hole in the wall with a lone drop of sweat on his forehead.

"*welp, i think it's fair to say that papyrus will be... **shaken to the bone** when he sees this"

He looked up at Gilgamesh.

"*so, i didn't get a chance to formally introduce you two, but that was undyne. she's the head of the royal guard... and i guess also mine and papyrus's boss. i hope you had a good first impression"

Gilgamesh chuckled.

"Oh, I'm positively blown away by her! And I think she could say the same about me! Muhahahaha!"

Sans grinned (what a shocker) and gave Gilgamesh a thumbs up.

"*good one, gil. well, i have to go to work, my shift is about to start, and with a boss like that, you don't want to be caught slacking off. it's that way to the capital, so you should just walk straight down that road and then follow the obvious linear path to the capital. i'm off to work, i'll see you later"

With that, he waved Gilgamesh goodbye and walked back into the house. For a few seconds, Gilgamesh stared at the spot where the short skeleton had just stood, then he shrugged, turned around and began walking. His strut was even more enthusiastic than usual; he couldn't quite describe why, but he just felt a bit more... empowered than he normally did. As if he was the main hero of the play for once, instead of a throwaway background performance.

He conjured up Enkidu with one hand so he would have some company and firmly grasped his naginata with the other; he had the feeling that the most fun part of his journey had yet to come.

Authors note: I'm sorry for only updating this so rarely; it's exam month, and having to focus on reading stuff all the time, I can't really muster up the energy to write very much. Once the exams are all dealth with, I hope I can get to updating this story a lot more regularly. Thank you to everyone who read this nonsense, and special thanks to anyone who left me a review; I really enjoy getting feedback for these chapters :] Don't hesitate to critizise me by the way, I'd like to know how to do a better job at writing, and the only way to improve is to know about your mistakes :p

dont forget to brush your teeth before crossing the street, dear reader!


End file.
